A Poem

A poem i wrote when i was like sixteen.


The Past Still Haunts Me

My heart has been stabbed at and thrown away
Ripped to pieces in every which way

Why do I always put up a fight
And then turn around and feel contrite

My life was great but I smoked it away
Someone else's life is what I portray

I really needed to stop but I didn’t know how
I would ignore everything I did and just disavow

The pain was just too much to bear
And all along you were totally unaware

Of all the destructive things I did
If you knew you would have forbid

My life and how I was living it then
You would have condoned me once again

And not believed a word I said
But just accused me of lying instead

So here we are face to face
I wish you would capture me in your embrace

To get me out of this hell I live
Open your heart and please forgive

Everything I did that was so terrible
But realize for me that my life was unbearable

Maybe that’s why I cut
I just wanted my Hells doors to shut

This is the only way I thought they would close
I guess that’s just the way life goes

Sorry, but now my scars are gone
From the world I had withdrawn

Myself and what I really wanted
Because I knew my life was daunted

So I guess it was the weed that broke my heart
All I wanted to do is depart

Or at least see all my blood go away
And my brain was always in such disarray

So basically drugs and cutting was my life
But oh, if you knew, my life would have been strife.

Neighbors

I hate living in apartments cuz the fucking assholes that live here complain about anthing and everything. The stupid bitch who lives underneath me called the cops at ten thirty at night on me because she had a leak in her bathroom ceiling. I was like super super pissed. I called the landlord, and he told me she is crazy and apologized. I was like, you dont have to apologize, but she should. I was in bed for school, and my husband was in bed for work. Like we really want to get up and deal with some stupid police officers. And then, she comes up to my apartment like every week to tell me were making noises, or being to loud, or playing music too loud, or whatever she can think of to bitch about. I feel like drilling a whole through the floor and really pouring liquid down it so she can have a real leak caused by us haha just kidding. i wouldnt do that, but it would be a good way to get rid of my anger.

Oh, and another thing i hate is liars. I FUCKING HATE THEM. Why lie? Whats the point. I hate it. If your that embaressed about your fuck ups, then go fuck yourself, but dont fucking lie to me in the process. Dont pretend to be nice, or be my friend if you are going to lie. My name is Ali motherfucking Durst, and dont get shit twisted. Dont fucking lie, always tell the truth. I was raised that liars, cheaters, and theives are bad. And you shouldnt be one, two, or any of them. I refuse to lie to people, i would just tell them like it fucking is and if they dont like it they can kiss my white caucasion fucking ass.

And another thing is, i hate people who are woosies, in better language. Girls who think they can talk to you however they want, and talk shit, but cant bring it. People who like to start shit, then want it stopped. Dont waste my time.

Sorry if this blog sounds like a bunch of bitching and randomness but each comment goes along with a greater in detail story that i dont feel like typing but oh well.

So all you apartment bitchers, liars, and woosie talking shit women get out my way!!!

Making up last weeks Case Study

OK, so I just turned in my second paper. I did both four page essays first, and I'm feeling pretty good about my essay I just wrote. It is about why the smoking ban is good. And I am actually proud of myself for being able to look at this from someone else's perspective, despite my deep hatred for this law. I have two weeks left for my three page and two page papers, but I am not even sure about what I want my topics to be. I'm kind of nervous, but I know once I figure out my topics, I will be able to in the words of Larry the cable guy 'Get-err-done!' I also am so excited about only three weeks of school left, but anyways, I feel good about my performance in the last half of the semester of English class.

Rent-a-cops

Ok, so im extremely pissed right now. I hate the Smoking ban @ ICC. Its utterly freaking retarted. So heres a quite humerous story. Today i was standing in the middle of the Visitors Lot. Since ive heard you can smoke by your cars, whatever i was smoking by a car. I light the ciggarette. Put it to my lips, dont even get half a drag when i hear some guy say "excuse me!" i turn around and guess what i see. Some Rent a cop in a golf cart. I was like uhh, how can i help you? He was like umm you cant smoke on campus. I was like umm, im standing in the middle of the visitors lot i thought you could smoke by your car. He was like, umm well are you a student here. Im thinking, no freaking shit, do you not see my damn back pack. Well, aparently he cant put back pack and @ ICC together, so whatever. Im like yes of cource im a student here. DUAH!!! But anyways he is like, umm students cant park in the Visitors Lot. Im like, i know that. He is like well is this your car, im like no i dont have a car. He is like let me see your ID. I am like ummmmmmmm..... no. He was like do you have and id, i was like umm no i dont have an ID. He looked at my purse and looked at me and was like umm you dont have an id in your purse. i was like no i dont. he was like well every student gets issued a student id. i was like i dont freaking have one. he was like well whats your name. so i told him my name. And he was like umm i have to report your name into the deans office, and if you get caught smoking again, then you will be called down and punished. I looked at him and was like umm, what the heck. Like will they give me a detention or what. So yeah, i got super pissed. And i still am. so i walked around the corner after he left and lit up another one. On purpose. Screw the smoking ban, they should make designated smoking areas then people who need nicotine wont get pissed because peoplea are depriving me of my addiction. Thats all i have to say.

First paper finally done

Well, for my first paper I think it took me a lot longer than it should have. I am very nervous for the next three, beings I have nothing but a paper prospectus to go by. Also, I have determined that the next topic that I had picked out for my next paper I don’t believe I am going to do. For my next topic I had picked out
“Why bacteria is important." I was going to argue that bacteria were indeed good. My reasoning behind why I want to change my topic is this: I don’t want my paper to sound like a research paper. So I was wondering STEPHANIE, if you would approve this topic instead, just as a maybe topic for my next for page paper. I was going to research Disneyland and Disneyworld, and I believe that Disney World is better than Disney Land. I was going to research and figure out things that Disney World had that Disney World didn’t. I believe my purpose would be to persuade people to go to Disney World. I know this is not a highly discussed topic, if discussed at all. I’m not sure if I will have four pages to do on this topic, if not I am sure you would let me use it for a three page paper. I just believe if I use this topic instead of the bacteria one, at least for a four or three page paper, it won’t sound so much like a research paper. I believe I could use the bacteria topic for the two page paper, just because I wouldn’t have so much to talk about so it would probably not sound so much like a research paper.
So these are my thoughts for my next paper and after I write this blog I will be ready to start researching and reading the handout that Stephanie gave us yesterday in class (for this I am super glad I can speed read ). And that’s about all I guess, I'm just kind of nervous to start this grueling procedure again not one, not two, but three more times.

EA Games

EA games is planning on filing a lawsuit against the amazing show South Park. Why you ask?? Because South Park had an episode involving Tiger Woods. The episode was called "Sexual Healing." This episode aired after the infamous Tiger Woods admitted to having numerous affairs with women that weren't his wife. This episode was making fun of the EA game "Tiger Woods PGA Tour 11" and adding Tiger and his wife fighting in it which looked like Street Fighter IV. I think if EA games really goes through and sues the makers of South Park they are seriously stupid. EA games stated that South Park violated their copyrights. South Park has entertained the deranged minds of America for years.....and if EA Games tries to take that away they are cruel. Don't get me wrong, i love EA Games....they have entertained my mind on XBox 360 and Wii and tons of games they have created are amazing, but they should not go toe to toe with South Park. If they do, i can see many of South Park fans boycotting their products. Allheadlinenews.com stated that "Legal experts however have said that South Park is likely protected under a parody fair-use defence as the episode was a satire." If this is true, i don't believe that EA Games should file this law suit. I love the show South Park and i would hate to see it have to get canceled because of EA Games.

OK, So i have to write about me as a writer this week. I like the Endorsement groups alot. I am super pumped for Monday. I think the Endorsement groups are a very good idea, and they can help us in making sure that everything in our paper is up to Stephanie's standard before we turn it in. This will help me out alot, probably mainly because i like when other people (it also helps alot that their in my same class and have the same knowledge of the subject as i do) to re read my paper and tell me their opinion. I am not good with grammar, so I know the group that deals with punctuation and spelling can really help me also. also the group that checks if my works cited is correct can help me also. I am not always the best with works cited. I am quite nervous about this first paper,but I know the endorsement groups will help me succeed. I am doing my paper on which Agent of Socialization is the most influential in my life. I think not being allowed to write about an over rated topic is a very good idea. That means I can capture the attention of my audience without them thinking its boring.